Reasons To Not Have A Kid Just Yet…
1. I can’t deal with your boogers…I can barely deal with my OWN boogers.
2. I can’t hang out with someone who cries more than I do these days.
3. I can only afford to dress one of us well right now.
4. You’ll be cuter than me. And I’m really into being top dog lately to be honest…
5. I’ll love you too much and then squeeze you too hard which might make you pop and get poo everywhere.
6. (Regarding above reason) Drying cleaning is expensive…Do you think money grows on trees???
7. Ultimately, I’m not ready to stop saying/using the word “fuck.”
**But one day…You’ll be here and I’ll love you like chocolate over nuts and dress you in Halloween costumes like THIS.**
19 notes, October 21, 2011